All material and new posts are henceforth happening over at: So get your ass to Mars!

Friday, 31 October 2008


Yep, this book is now in the process of being serialised as a podcast, and is available from
In a time of post-Singularity and FTL travel, Combat K are elite and murderous combat squads trained by the Quad-Gal Military specialising in interrogation, infiltration, assassination and detonation. Their gameplan is simple: to end The Helix War, which had raged across galaxies for a thousand years.
Ex-soldier Keenan, a stocky battered war veteran, addicted to Jataxa spirit yet still horribly efficient at his job, is working as a private investigator on a planet at the peaceful fringes of the Quad-Gal. Following the death of his family, Keenan is riddled with guilt and self-loathing, and carries a need for revenge which consumes him. When a prince from Jervai Province offers him a case on a dangerous colony world in exchange for clues that may lead to his family's murderer, Keenan is dragged from his self-pity. However, to have any chance of success he must gather together his old military unit, a group who swore they'd never work together again...
Through the tribal jungles of Ket, the mean chaotic streets of The City, the mission leads the squad to Teller's World, a Dead World, and home of the extinct God Leviathan... and there Keenan will find answers to his deepest nightmares... and face an ancient, evil terror older than The Four Galaxies.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Randy Toss.

Sorry, but am I the only person who thinks Brand and Ross should be horse-whipped, then spend 48 hours in the stocks? Obviously I’m not, judging by the amount of complaints the BBC had regarding the “comedy” heaped upon poor Andrew Sachs. I see today Brand has resigned his position from the BBC… but, is this enough? Now, I agree capital punishment is probably a little harsh in most cases (Gary Glitter and his ilk excepting), but surely in a case like this we could return to that most comedic of punishments, the stocks? Lock Randy Brand and Toss in wooden stocks for 48 hours, pelt them with rotten fruit and other amusing objects (a lump hammer, a chisel, a chainsaw, haha!!) and let them suffer a little of the humiliation heaped upon Sachs by their comments, broadcast, and subsequent explosion of media recognition.

Alternatively, I’m willing to come out of retirement and spend an hour in the ring with these two muppets. And I’m damn sure Ricky Hatton wouldn’t mind a round or three.

Sachs is such a lovely bloke, and I’ve just watched his response to the two hairy reprobates. And yes, he’s too nice to pursue matters further – that’s why they chose him. And yes, they sent him very nice letters – they were begging for their jobs.

What 78 year old grandfather deserves this sort of treatment?

And Russel! Mate! Get a haircut! And a shave. Haha.

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Judge Dread.

Ha! For the first time in history I am to be a judge in a competition. For more details (and humorous photos of Andy Remic getting intimate with a Chieftain tank) head over to

You could win a box full of Solaris books :-)

Monday, 27 October 2008

And Now For Something Completely Different.

OK. Three items here:

1] BIOHELL is out tomorrow, 28th October, in the US. Finally!! It feels like I wrote this book about three years ago... and yes, it's been a VERY long year.

2] WAR MACHINE podcasts go live on 31st October - fittingly, Halloween (the horror, the horror) and can be snaffled from

3] XFACTOR was much better this week :-) I especially liked the charity song, with proceeds going to Help For Heroes and the British Legion Poppy Appeal - 2 brilliant worthwhile causes. Here's the link-

Cheryl Cole was still a replicant on the show. Maybe that's why she walked out..... Deckard barged in, hunting her down with a Laser Tube.

Thursday, 23 October 2008

XXX Factor.

It’s got to be said, I was enjoying X Factor until last Saturday’s travesty. A late convert, I was never what could be considered a fan, and hated, actually felt physical hate for Simon Cowell, with his smug face and plastic haircut. However, when my big burly mate JK got into it, I mused there had to be something in the chirpy chirpings of various cheepy cheap cheeps. And so, after my wife attached electrodes to my testicles, I was forced to endure XFAC. And you know what? I really enjoyed it. There you go. I’ve said it. Yes, I like machine guns. Yes, I like movies where people shoot other people in the face. And yes, I like chucking myself down motorbike verts. And now... I like the X Factor. JK was right... Until Saturday’s fiasco.

OK. Here’s my problem. Michael Jackson night. What? I mean, WHAT? What’s it going to be next week? Gary Glitter night? Macc Lads night? X Factor does Roy Chubby Brown songs? Well, the contestants all gave it a good shot. But let’s be brutally honest here, even the best were the worst, and the worst just not good enough. Girl Band. We should just call them Crap Band and get it over with. And even the notables, like Eoaoghane and Laura couldn’t save the show. Eoaogooane’s baby face was too sickly sweet, made me feel like I was gargling sugar, whereas Laura sounded like a mincing cat in a mincer. The rest of the bands should have been banned after their predictably awful warbling, and as for the rough bird with five kids – well, just who keeps telling her she looks good in those suits? And with that hair? And that bad attitude? Now she’s like a peacock on mescaline, and you have to groan and acknowledge she won’t be going away. We have the Pontin’s reject, let’s call him Slick, who actually thinks he’s slick but in reality is just a manipulated monkey who’s going to fall and Fall Big and Cry A Lot, and then that guy with the gelled black hair like spider legs. Who can’t sing. And then you the Other Boy Bands. The Really Bad Ones. So, a mixed bag in all. Yes. A bag of X Factor rejects.

And now to the judges. OK, Walsh is quietly amusing, but if we’re honest, has little idea about what makes a good tune, and to my mind at least, is completely tone deaf (he did manage Boyzone, come on). Daniiii Minogue – what the **** is she doing on the show? Daniiiii, who only ever got her squidgy little mug on TV on the coat-tails of her much more famous/ better looking/ more glamorous/ infinitely more talented sister and is now judging other musicians without possessing any talent whatsoever. Pass me a needle and thread, my sides are splitting. Cheryl Cole. Hmm. The Queen of No Emotion. She says the right words, but it does not transfer to her face or eyes. She is a robot. A replicant. Certainly, a repellent. Either that, or she’s wearing that much makeup over her plastic surgery one cannot see the facial expressions beneath the trowel-applied mask (unless, of course, a pretty black dude waltzes on stage. Husband? What’s that then?).

Finally, we get to Simon Cowell. And herein lies the irony. The man I used to hate, well, now I reserve man-love for him. I would like to bear his children. Because, in a maelstrom of insanity, he is the only sane voice. He’s funny, truthful, compassionate, empathic, and knows his game. What I used to think of as acerbic hatred is actually spot-on observation. So, big round of applause for Simon. He deserves it. And, um, I suppose that’s why he’s a multi-millionaire.
And please please please don’t allow Girls Aloud (Girls Allowed?) sing on the show again. To have a supposedly professional band put in a singular warbling performance worse than all the amateur contestants put together was painful and cringe-worthy to watch (endure). Just bad. Bad bad bad. If it gets any worse, I won’t be tuning in any more. And that would be a shame, because I can’t wait for Cheryl Cole to sing I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am).

Monday, 20 October 2008

BIOHELL Hits The Mean Streets...

BIOHELL hits the United States of America in trade paperback, October 28th 2008, followed by a UK mass-market paperback on February 5th 2009.

Go out and buy it. You won't regret it!!

Some of the author's fave quotes:

"One step at a time, compadre. We’re not supermen! Well, at least, you’re not."


"Hey! I’m not just some uncouth, misogynistic, beer-drinking, heterosexual power-house, with no appreciation of the finer points of science, literature and art. Am I?"


"You’ve got it all wrong, Keenan, my friend. You have a twisted perspective. A deviated standpoint. This world. This life. This nightmare. I’m the only sane thing in it. It’s everybody else that’s mad. The pills just make your insanity bearable."


"Damn that vegetable spunk slime."



Friday, 17 October 2008

Off To A Good Start...

Wow. Spiral seems to be doing OK on Podiobooks!

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

SPIRAL audio podcast...

... is now live.

You can hear audio trailers on my website, at, and the serialised audio chapters themselves can be dowloaded from

War Machine audio podcasts to follow shortly.......

And all FREE! Yes, FREE!! What a jolly kind soul I am :-)

Thursday, 9 October 2008

Newcon 4

Yup, I'll be trogging down to Northampton this weekend for the promising "Newcon4" which is, entertainingly, being held in a fish market. Iain Banks, Ken Macleod, Storm Constantine- hell, it appears this weekend they will be stinking of cod, hoho.

Looking forward to seeing Ian Watson, he of Orgasmachine fame (in Japan, certainly). I've been reading Orgasmachine recently, and it is truly a superb work, visionary, and brim full of wonderful ideas (the skins in Jade's wardrobe is my current favourite). I will break with tradition (my tradition of not writing reviews, anyway) and post a full review when I've completed this (short) masterpiece. Wonderful!

Also wonderful, loathe though I am to admit it, is Mark Newton's The Reef. I was pleasantly surprised upon reading this tome (after all, I know the dude) and hereby, and with great regret, have to admit it's a fine book. Damn. I was looking forward to giving it a proper slagging. Actually, I might just lie and make up a really grotesque review in the future. :-) Newton deserves no less.

Friday, 3 October 2008

Horror Reanimated.

I've got to admit, I'm a real old school horror fan, a proper stalwart of the original James Herbert and Stephen King stuff (and even Guy N. Smith, shudder - who remembers the horror of The Slugs, and that exorcist ex-SAS dude, Sabat!!), which I read from the age of about 13. I found it distressing when horror popularity dipped a few years back (having written a couple of old unpublished horror novels myself), but I am totally thrilled it's making a revival. At the forefront of this new horrorific knife in the ribs are two guys who I admire, namely Bill Hussey and Joseph D'Lacey, authors of Through a Glass, Darkly, and MEAT respectively.

So, imagine my delight when these two dudes joined forces to blog about the horror scene! Wonderful! Point your mouse over to for some sweet-smelling fun and frolics from the horror scene......