All material and new posts are henceforth happening over at: http://andyremic.wordpress.com. So get your ass to Mars!

Tuesday 27 November 2007

Summer Holiday Going Cheap!

I can't believe the riots in Paris! What I can't believe is that some scrotebags steal a motorbike, are subsequently killed in an accident (no helmets, no license, no skill, no brains, doh!) with a police car, and this gives, let me get this straight, a load more shitbags the right to riot because they wish to "avenge" the two dead teenagers!! Sorry, what?

Now, I've had a few run-ins with the police (there's no comedy in crime, son) but let's be honest, they've got a really hard job to do and I respect the guys (and gals). It's not an easy job, eating all those donuts (a joke!), but again, I can't believe the rioting little teenage dirtboxes get to throw petrol bombs, and fire live bullets, and... what can the police do in return? Rubber bullets. Hahaha. If someone throws a petrol bomb at me, or tries to shoot me, it's attempted murder mate, and they should get the same right back. Vote for me! Remic for president! Or at least call in the damned army. Let's see the little f****** shoot a tank.

So then, if you'd like to book your Summer Vacation in Villiers-le-Bel, amidst the sunshine, the cheap wine, the frog's legs, the garlic and the, um, "gangrene" (Sarkozy, 2005) then please click here: www.andyremic.com.

Thanks for listening, folks. That is, if anybody actually is listening.

Monday 26 November 2007

5 Things I've Learned About Writing

I was asked by James Maxey, author of Bitterwood, to write an article complementing his series of articles entitled “5 Things I’ve Learned About Writing”, which can be found here:
http://jamesmaxey.blogspot.com/2007/11/five-things-ive-learned-about-writing.html

Each individual section is here:

1. Stories are made out of scenes. Scenes are made out of nouns
2. The best way to write a good story is to first write a bad story
3. Momentum matters!
4. Embrace your demons
5. You never write alone

So then, I shall thus attempt to address this topic with my own personal experiences. I’m not sure how coherent this content will be, but I’ve written it in order to try and help anybody who’s in the field of writing, and has that burning desire to get published…

1] PRESENTATION
When I first started writing, it was on a typewriter, and I was skint, so I regularly produced pages with very faint type which drove (I am sure) editors and agents nuts. As I progressed, I learnt (mainly by being nagged by my current agent, Dorothy Lumley, as she rejected yet another novel) to present my work correctly. Editors/ agents receive sooo many manuscripts that it’s easy to turn something away if it’s hard to read, or somehow limits access to the written word within. I personally present with a nice clear font (like Lucida Sans) with 1.5 line spacing. I believe it’s still common practice to send an outline with the first 3 chapters (or around 10,000 words) for consideration. Again, more than this chunk and you’re immediately alienating yourself from the people you’re asking to consider your work (i.e. the guys with the cheque books).

2] THE HARDER I WORK THE LUCKIER I GET
Lot’s of people have been credited with this little gem (just try GOOGLING it) and despite the cliché, it’s true. Obviously, different people have different lives and different commitments. My life was so much easier before children, and I would genuinely work all day. Doing a degree in English gave me plenty of spare time to write, and I simply wrote and wrote and wrote. I’d finish a novel, start sending it off to publishers and agents, then work on the next novel as the first one was being kicked back. I met a nice guy at Novacon (I’ll allow him anonymity here J)who’s first novel took him seven years to write, and it’s currently doing the rounds looking for a publisher; now, he’s working on the sequel. I feel this is a grave mistake, because the second novel is by definition un-publishable until the first one hits the mark, and anyway, if an editor picks you up for publishing he/she may well want you to take the concept in a different direction, or point out flaws which force you to take it in a different direction. Either way, you’ve wasted your precious writing time when you could be exploring different avenues or genres, where a new idea could suddenly hit. I worked solid for 10 years writing novels I couldn’t get published, but each work was a stepping stone towards publication and I think subliminally I recognised this element. I one day dreamed of getting published, but ultimately, I wrote for my own enjoyment, I wrote what I wanted to read, and just hoped like hell to get lucky. Funnily enough, after 10 years of slog, I got lucky, first with an agent, then a couple of years later, with a publisher. But then the real work begins. Which brings me neatly on to… The Editing Process.
[Incidentally, James Maxey says in his article that writing a bad novel is a good thing, because it teaches you how to write, and he’s so, so right. I learnt style, tricks, technique, all sorts of things every time I made a mistake. This is oft quoted by Iain Banks as well, who admits to taking 10 years to getting published, and how he had to write a million words of crap in order to fashion himself with the skill-set necessary to become a published author. And look at Iain’s work now! Stunning.]

3] THE EDITING PROCESS
I readily admit, this is one area I used to despise. I’d write a novel, do a quick single edit, then chuck it out of the door to be rejected time and again. I think I was naïve, and just had ideas piling up so fast in my head I wanted to slam on with the next project. I should have spent much longer learning to edit, and ironically, it was only after getting my first publishing deal for my “first” ( in fact, probably about twelfth) novel, SPIRAL, that I really, really learnt how to edit. My editor at the time at Orbit was Simon Kavanagh, a very switched on guy, who basically guided me and taught me how to edit my books properly. However, being the stubborn mule that I am (and apologies to Simon, who must have banged his head against a brick wall so many times after conversations with me!!) it took a long time for certain lessons to sink in.
I feel I am still on a massive learning curve. My new novel, WAR MACHINE, well I worked through it 8 times during the editing process (including proofs). Each time, I was attempting to hone and cut and hone, to speed up the pace of the prose and refine the text into a well-oiled machine. I had 3 great reviews, and then a review in SFX where the guy said it was “massively overwritten to an extent that’s frequently hilarious”. I know this is only his personal, narrow, viewpoint, but Jesus, I’d been through the damn thing 8 times and was sure it was honed and oiled like a perfect chainsaw blade. In my opinion, it was. But I didn’t please this guy (although magazines sometimes have other agendas during reviews, but that’s another story). I suppose future sales will be the make or break, and now I’ll try even harder for the next book to make damn sure there’s no superfluous junk!! See, self-improvement, that’s what I’m about.
OK, when I’ve finished a novel, I do the Stephen King thing, where you sit back for a few weeks and let it mellow, let your brain chill, then go back to it with a different (Wurzle Gummidge) head on. Remove the writing head, and put on the editing head, because I find the two processes massively different, and even different types of edit are different in what’s required. So, what I do is this:

a] Write novel.
b] First pass edit, where I’m rewriting scenes, tweaking dialogue, picking up lost threads and reintegrating them into the story whole, and basically trying to read it from a reader’s point of view (which becomes impossible later on, more of that next) as I search for that little bugger, the continuity error.
c] Second pass edit, where I tighten and hone, and delete as much unnecessary wordage as possible. And try to check again that it works as a whole, for a reader, rather than disparate sections written at different times which may sometimes fail to link up coherently.
d] Third pass edit, purely checking spelling, grammar, punctuation, honing and deleting sentences and words.

Only now am I happy with the beast, and willing to let my agent and editor read it. They, obviously, then pick up on stuff I’ve missed, things to add, things to delete, continuity errors etc; and I find at this point, I’m so bog-eyed at reading the damn thing, I’m no longer objective and can no longer read it as a novel. I’m blind to what a reader would think, and have to rely at this stage on the professionals. Also, that’s one reason why it’s quite amusing when Mr Unpublished, your average unpublished SF author, slags off a book in a review[SFX, here’s looking at you]; he/ she is not just abusing the author, but also sticking a (admittedly small) knife blade in the neck of every editor and copy-editor who’s worked on the book. Dave Gemmell once said “no novel is written in a vacuum”, and he’s damn right. There’s a lot of people with fingers in your pie!! So don’t be mocking a publisher’s pie, Mr Unpublished, because one day you want your own pie, and you’re potentially nibbling at the hand before it feeds you.

4] CHARACTER AND STORY
It took me a long, long time to realise that everything important stems from character. I used to think plot was the most important element, and yes, whilst it’s central to the “whole” and is what gets you brownie points with a reader for originality, for me, personally, all action and conflict stems from characters, their traits and interactions. So, when I approach a new work I have a vague idea of setting and maybe a plotline, but I always ask myself the question, “What characters do I want to inhabit these locations? What drives them, and will, in turn, drive the story forward?”. All my favourite novels have totally original characters- like in Banks’ Consider Phlebas where you’ve got Horza the Changer, who alters glands in himself so he can gradually change to imitate other humans. Beautiful.
I think it’s also the conflicts between characters that are oh so important, and in War Machine I think I got it exactly right with my three main protagonists, Keenan, Pippa and Franco. Keenan and Franco are like brothers, so you have the brotherly camaraderie element. Keenan and Pippa are ex-lovers, and blow hot and cold between hatred vs lust. And Franco and Pippa have a bizarre relationship where Franco consistently tries to get in her pants, but she thinks he’s mental. Yet, as a combat squad, they work like a well-oiled machine and always get the job done, despite their bickering. To me this constant tri-way hub of conflict and cooperation is the basis for the entire set of adventures they embark upon, and for me this formula works.
Story, I think, is modular. Your story should be like a Christmas tree. You’ve got your central plotline, the trunk, which starts at the base with lots of different branches arcing away, so maybe A needs to find B, take it to C and destroy it with Z. From this trunk, as the novel progresses, secondary plotlines evolve and are completed, all branching from the main plotline; as you reach the end of the novel, the secondary plotlines must be shorter and shorter, as the pace increases, and then you reach the glittering star- or the climax- of the story J. That’s the way I see it, anyway. Others may (and will, it is the nature of (wo)man) disagree.

5] THE PUBLISHING WORLD
I used to believe, when I was younger and locked in my happy little writing bubble, that the distant publishing world was a lovely happy back-slapping gentleman’s arrangement that would hopefully one day take my book and make magical things happen. As I got older, I had various jobs, which culminated in me running my own business for 5 years. In this I dealt with staffing, bureaucratic inspectorial agencies, and existed in the very real world of the hard dollar, marketing and advertising, of selling a “product” where if it didn’t sell, they took your nice house and nice car away and locked you in a cellar full of rotten fruit.
Anyway, now I know and understand the publishing world is a business. It exists to make money. A book is a product. That product needs to sell copies, to make money, to keep both the publisher and writer in business. Yes, a novel is art. Yes, a novelist is an artist. But the bottom line is that without sales, you won’t get a new contract, and your art will not have an audience (although these lines are blurring a little, with online publishing and such-forth, but I can still never ever, ever see me using an electronic book reader/ they’re just… just not a book, dammit).
So, it’s all very well writing a novel consisting of the crazy-paved inner-thoughts of a psycho, backwards, interlacing hieroglyphics with the text; it might be intelligent original art, but if it doesn’t sell then said publisher won’t be a happy bunny and your contract may be garrotted.
As a budding writer, I believe, you should approach publication as a business enterprise. So, you must be professional at all times, research your field well, your work should be presented at the best level you can achieve, your writing should be honed to the very best of your ability, and when you finally make that wonderful first sale, and get to drive to [wherever] to meet your proposed editor, it helps if you acknowledge publication as a business option to him/ her. An author, in this day and age, must be willing to promote their books, do readings and signings, attend conventions, get out and about. It has always, always cost me money; but I treat every single event as an investment in my future writing career, which I, hopefully, see as a lifetime option. I know some people write books for money (Terry Pratchett once said, early on in his career, that he writes purely for the money- I have the interview!) but I don’t. If I wasn’t paid, I’d still do it. For me, it is an affliction. I write because I just love to write, and I try my best to look at the long term picture.

It can be a very hard, long road. Be patient. And always be professional :-)

Sunday 25 November 2007

News from the Forums...

Just thought I'd share this with you.
Because, if the people out there like it, then that's what matters, right?!
:-)

Finished War Machine by A. Remic. It's a roller coaster ultra-violent book, but a far future sf thriller not military sf as marketed. The extraordinary inventiveness of the future setting (aliens, all kinds of ai's, pseudohumans, robots, genetically engineered humans, a city-planet of 113 trillion beings give or take a few, cool weapons and devices) is marred by jarring references to Halloween, James Bond, TV stars and similar current stuff. The non-stop action reads once in a while like a cartoon, and some of the characters are really cartoonish (some of the gangsters encountered and Mr. Max for example; Mr. Max reminded me of Mr. Crane of Neal Asher's Polity book but the android was more fun). There are also lots of similarities with several other books I've read recently, Saturn Returns by S. William, Stealing Light by G. Gibson and Hydrogen Steel by KA Bedford are 3 books that I was reminded in very important parts of the book (there are lots of double crosses, and tricks and turns of the plot, so I do not want to say more but if you read any of those and you read this one you will see it too).The main characters, the disgraced Combat K trio, Keenan the super soldier and leader, Pippa the ultra violent pilot and occasional love interest, and Franco the clinically insane demolition expert and jokster, as well as Cam the tennis ball sized AI drone (this one is Banksian through and through) are very well portrayed and the gradual revelations culminating at the end with the complete disclosure of their individual histories is very very well done.Also there are strong fantasy-like elements in this book despite its sf flavor (here another similarity is with Chris Bunch Shadow series).Anyway once you start reading it and get used to its setting it really draws you in and you cannot put it down and then you get to the last page and realize that you have to wait for a while to see what happens next... Despite its occasional cartoonish aspects and the jarring references to current fads, this one is an excellent book, much much better than I expected. Highly recommended especially for people who liked the books mentioned above.

Suciul, White Plains, NY
www.sffworld.com forum

BIOHELL Complete!!!

... well, I've just finished the first draft, coming in at 154,000 words, and it's a true rollicking rollercoaster action science fiction zombie military fest thing. Never have I written anything with so much action, violence, or gore!! So, I'll probably get panned for this one as well!! haha.

You wanna see Franco sky-dive from a flaming zombie-filled chopper? Check.
You wanna see Franco climb a tower of tits? (don't ask). Check.
You wanna meet Franco's eight foot girlfriend? Check.

Only, um, a year for you to wait then!! Although I might release a few "trailers" on the website after editing's complete, and after Christian (Dunn, my editor) has cast his experienced eye across the text and shouted, "Remic! No!".

Time for a break now, then the serious editing begins!!

(Thought I'd better put in something of a writerly nature, this being a writer's blog an' all!).

Friday 23 November 2007

SFX REVIEW...

Well, I've read the SFX review of WAR MACHINE, and in all honesty, it's not that bad. I mean, 1.5 stars out of five! It could have been much, much worse, right? Like 1 out of 5, or half out of 5. Haha. Hohum, anyway, it seems Saxon Bullock doesn't like my work, and that's fine by me, it's his personal opinion and he's entitled to that. There are some lovely choice phrases I can pick out for my website, such as "blood-spattered ultraviolence" and "pulp SF-style brutality". Although I think saying the book was a "clunky mess" defies belief; did he read the damn thing? It's got a straightforward, linear plot, and despite what Bullock might think, the writing was pared back in many, many places. He seemed to miss the spirit in which I wrote the book- that of fast-paced, honest, simple, tongue-in-cheek fun. It's written as pure head-banging entertainment, not to win a damn Hugo!

Anyway, just for the record, I quite like SFX magazine, and thoroughly enjoyed the article this month on Blade Runner entitled Silver Blade. And Dave Bradley, the editor, is a really nice guy to deal with- and I owe him thanks for the interview from a few weeks back.

Just one question though. Why do I always seem to get bad reviews from unpublished SF authors who have "just finished their first novel?". Well, I wish Bullocks luck with placing THE HYPERNOVA GAMBIT. I'm sure it'll make a great read :-) Also, if he emails a copy to me, and I like it, I might even recommend it to my publisher!! See, can't say fairer than that, can I? And, if I see him at a convention, I might even buy him a beer!! See, what a nice person I've become. Filled with roses and honey. Skipping happily through fields of daffodils. No more chainsaws and lump-hammers for this ex-convict, oh no [legal disclaimer: that was a joke].

As an aside, according to his website, Bullock can "type 45 words a minute", is "quick-witted" and has a "GCSE in Music". He'll probably need those skills if, upon publication, somebody gives him a bad review, yeah?

Check out SFX at http://www.sfx.co.uk/

Thursday 22 November 2007

Doodlebops

Am I the only one, or does anybody else out there agree that DEEDEE from The Doodlebops is perhaps the finest specimen of woman ever to grace our sceptred isle? [via digital, of course].

Check out doodlebops.com for true voyeurism.

Apparently, DEEDEE "loves to lead" and "she is full of energy" Well, she gets my vote!
And I saw her live.
Honest.
At Disney in Florida.

The shame :-(

Ring of Fire

Weird Experience!
Last week, I was driving along, on my way to pick up my little boy. Now, I've a top 'o the range VW Passatt, full leather, alloys, climate, yada yada. Great for kid's choc fingers. So, there I am, driving along, and I started to feel uncomfortable. In fact, I was hot, sweating, and forced to push my hand down the back of my pants. There, bathed in sweat, I wondered just what the bejasus was going on. Until it got worse, ouch! I said, ouch ouch ouch! Smoke rolled up. My damn leather seat was on fire! I pulled over, leapt out, and watched smoke curling from a 50p size hole. Hot sugary dog dick, I thought, pissed that my 18 month old motor had fiery seats. So, a short trip to VW later (apparently, the element in my heated seat had kinked and scorched the cow-hide), one completed fire-report form, and they replaced the seat.

But hey.
Can't wait for it to happen again ;-)

Wednesday 21 November 2007

SFX Napalm Strike

Not yet read the SFX review of War Machine, which I believe is going to be awesomely bad. Still, I'm smiling :-)

I can live with bad reviews. It's just when cheeky reviewers get personal, not understanding that one day they might actually come face to face with the person they gave a drubbing. And believe me, the writer who says he doesn't care about bad reviews, or forgets the name of said nasty reviewer, is a liar.

I remember David Gemmel once telling me that you shouldn't get big headed when you get the good reviews, and you shouldn't be downheartened when you get the bad ones. It's all down to personal opinion at the end of the day. And he's right, of course. But he followed this up with another comment, and a twinkle in his eye. I won't say what he said about certain reviewers who drubbed his work. But it wasn't very nice.

With regards personal opinion, it's all relative to the muppet doing the review (but of course, anyone who gives me a good review is a genius, ha!) After all, I actually like The Phantom Menace. Sure, I'd take a sawn-off double-barrel D5 shotgun to Jar Jar's spine, but I like the film as a whole. Ewan McGregor shouldn't be so embarrassed!

Still. A bad review always stings.

Heh, but not as much as my chainsaw.

"Say hello to my leedle friend".

BIOHELL

My next novel is an action zombie SF thriller. Imagine zombies fighting AIs, zombies bearing machine guns and grenades, and a hardcore fast-paced adventure with a twist of black humour, zombies in tanks, and your fave characters from War Machine facing adversity with all the conflict that makes them so loveable.

Anyway, I've nearly finished! Yay! Probably by the end of this week! It's currently running at 145,000 words, and I've probably another 5000 to put down for the climax/ ending, which is proper stunning. Also a few small mid-scenes to add for the purpose of continuity. Then it's break time, and back for the first proper edit which I'm really looking forward to!

I've also planned a follow-up to this, which is in effect, a follow-up. And it's the most stunning book I've ever conceived. Called SICK WORLD, it's truly... sick. I can smell the iodine even now.

Note: BIOHELL and SICK WORLD will also be "standalone" novels, discrete in their dripping jelly. Dipping your toe in War Machine is not a requirement, although highly recommended.

You heard it here first :-)

Tuesday 20 November 2007

Enter Taxman

I was entertained to note how HMRC have "lost" the confidential details of 7.25 million child benefit "customers", including name, address, bank details and NI number, and the names, sex and age of all children involved... so, just about everything that a decent conman/ paedophile needs, then. I was, however, not entertained to realise my own details were included in this unbelievable fuck-up. Chancellor Alistair Darling said there was no evidence the data had gone to criminals. Because, yes, I'm sure the fraud barons of the UK would certainly announce this fiasco on their blogs immediately... right? Hands up! I got da data! First chance they got. But at least the Chairman has resigned. But why? Was he the idiot who didn't use registered mail? Was he supposed to monitor every single braindead office junior personally? Or was he perhaps suposed to don a hi-vis vest and courier the disks himself? I admit, I have no love of HMRC- having been on the arse-end of their unwanted and unnecessary attentions when I ran my own business- and I have to wonder how I would have been treated by the judiciary if I happened to piss away 7.25 million confidential files. 10 years in prison, perhaps, for gross negligence? Hung, drawn and quartered? And how long before this info appears on the internet, is performed in anarchist cookbook circles, or simply found for sale for £3 from some scumbag's carboot in Blakeley?

In terms of punishment, however, I believe I have the answer! All taxmen (and women, no sexism here folks) should be rounded up and forced into a boring puerile petty snotty bureaucratic pen-pushing hate-filled job for the rest of their working lives. They should be forced to wear ASDA suits, carry PVC briefcases, and exude about them an air of snarling superiority. They should prey on innocence, court suspicion in all, and make the lives of honest hard-working people miserable. And then they should be forced to gloat about their feeble petty pointless achievements with like-minded bureaucrats in £6-a-head Toby Carveries up and down the country drinking cheap red-wine as they sweat in nasty shoes.

What? That already happened?
My apologies then.

I Love the Smell of 2-Stroke in the Morning

OK, I've oiled the chainsaw blades, checked and cleaned the spark plug, filled her up with 2-stroke mix, fired her up and listened to that gorgeous erratic burbling which stinks the garage out, sends the wife crazeee and has my two cats running for their lives. Oh the joy of the chainsaw! What a weapon! Did I say weapon? I meant tree-reduction tool.

Roll on Wednesday! :-)
[because, obviously, I have some tree-felling to do, and not, I repeat not, a re-enactment from that scene in Scarface].

Monday 19 November 2007

Forced to the Edge of YoYo Sanity

[That's YoYo, not YokoOno, for those with poor eyesight].

Two points here, illustrating how your bizarre day can yokoono between good and bad.

Website down, TalkTalk useless, mindset for writing last chapter of new book BIOHELL all scrambled like eggy wegs.

Contacted Ariel, he of www.uksfbooknews.net, fellow New Model Army affiliate and Man Who Deals With Author Websites (if there's anybody out there who needs a cool website designing); anyway, within a couple of hours he did what TalkTalk, with all their billions invested in Indian Call Centres, failed to accomplish. He got my mashed website back up and running!! Yay for Ariel! Many drinks owed. Maybe even a curry. I'm that generous.

Was also contacted over the weekend by Dave Bradley of SFX magazine, warning me of an impendingly very bad review of my book War Machine.

Better get out there and oil my chainsaw, then :-)

Yep. One of those days.

Still, managed to put down 6400 words leading to the hectic mental climax of new novel BIOHELL! And the contracts are all done and dusted! Solaris, we love ya!

TalkTalk- CRAP for the digital generation

We website is currently down. I made the very great mistake of hosting it using my talktalk webspace, on top of the very great mistake of signing up to talktalk in the first place. Originally I was with Pipex, who were great for about 4 years, until I tried to upgrade to the 8MB Pipex Homecall service. Apparently, Pipex and Pipex Homecall are two companies who are supposed to be the same, but in reality do not communicate and do not cooperate. I had problems for 6 months, no broadband, and they continually blamed each other like kids arguing over who broke the toy. It was truly pathetic. Farcical. Anyway, fast forward to TalkTalk- great to begin with. Until my phone went down, their technical support didn't, and they changed my phone number without my permission, and without actually telling me. Probably illegal. Pissed me right off- especially as my mother was just about to go into hospital and I was awaiting several serious calls. Anyway, after a whole week of ranting, a BT engineer finally fixed the problem (at the exchange). Oh, how ironic! I couldn't talktalk to anybody.

Now TalkTalk have deleted my webspace content, and I cannot get on to the server to re-upload anything via my FTP software. Incredibly, their technical support... doesn't. I just spent half an hour on the phone to Reena. She was very nice. But, a computer technician she was not. After putting me on hold on several occasions, she finally gave me the sterling advice of going into IE tools, and changing my default homepage to my own web address. I explained how this wasn't really going to help my situation, because all my code had been deleted from TalkTalk's damn server! She then, very helpfully, advised me to contact an engineer. What engineer? A metalworks engineer? A hydroplant engineer? Oh, a computer engineer. Why? I asked. My phone works, my broadband works, I can connect to every single web page in the Sinax Cluster except my own! The problem is on the TalkTalk server. I have been either excised from the system, or deleted. Reena then told me to contact my web designer. But that's me. So, desperate to get rid of me, she gave the direct line to the "high level technical department" - oooh. And guess what? 47 minutes of queuing and I still couldn't get through.

Great this. New novel out 2 weeks ago, and now TalkTalk have napalmed my website. They should be called ArseArse.

Sunday 18 November 2007

The Guardian review

The Guardian, UK newspaper, reviewed my recently published Solaris novel WAR MACHINE yesterday.

They said:
"Remic's fourth novel opens with a graphic description of an abortive military mission on the aptly named planet of Terminus5, which soldier Keenan survives only to learn that his family has been killed by terrorists. Grieving and alcoholic, he sets himself up as a private investigator and is hired to re-form his Combat K team and retrieve the Fractured Emerald from the war-torn world of Ket. The lure: the emerald can discern the truth of past events and inform Keenan precisely who killed his wife and children. The scene is set for a hard-hitting, galaxy-spanning, no-holds-barred, old-fashioned action adventure yarn, laced with almost self-parodic brutality. A combination of military SF and space opera, it has the tendency to slip periodically into purple prose and melodrama."

OK, I like no-holds barred, old-fashioned action adventure yarn.
And I can live with self-parodic brutality.
Purple prose? What? WHAT? War Machine is stripped down kickass fucked-up brutality, man!! Never will you read such honed and nasty narrative!! Trust me. Try it. You may like the melodrama. It's melodramatic. And nobody complained about Star Wars :-)
Het, rather purple and melodrama than dull, lifeless, boring and with sod-all happening. So much drivel comes out with absolutely nothing going on. Well, I can never be accused of that crime against humanity, can I?

Mission Statement for Wired, Weird & Wonderful

It's my aim to write a blog without any shit. So, I'm pretty sure you don't want to know about me walking the dog, brushing my teeth and ironing my pants. I won't update this blog every day, but I will update it when I'm either; a] wired (and thus have a loose tongue, which has certainly got me in the shit with British Telecom before!), or b] weird, or to be exact, have had something weird happen to me- or around me. This seems to happen a lot. It's like I partially exist in a strange deranged back-wood redneck twilight zone called reality. Ha!! So, here we go. Please feel free to contact and tell me how bad it is :-).

Andy Remic, novelist.