All material and new posts are henceforth happening over at: http://andyremic.wordpress.com. So get your ass to Mars!
Friday, 31 October 2008
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
Alternatively, I’m willing to come out of retirement and spend an hour in the ring with these two muppets. And I’m damn sure Ricky Hatton wouldn’t mind a round or three.
Sachs is such a lovely bloke, and I’ve just watched his response to the two hairy reprobates. And yes, he’s too nice to pursue matters further – that’s why they chose him. And yes, they sent him very nice letters – they were begging for their jobs.
What 78 year old grandfather deserves this sort of treatment?
And Russel! Mate! Get a haircut! And a shave. Haha.
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
You could win a box full of Solaris books :-)
Monday, 27 October 2008
1] BIOHELL is out tomorrow, 28th October, in the US. Finally!! It feels like I wrote this book about three years ago... and yes, it's been a VERY long year.
2] WAR MACHINE podcasts go live on 31st October - fittingly, Halloween (the horror, the horror) and can be snaffled from http://www.podiobooks.com/.
3] XFACTOR was much better this week :-) I especially liked the charity song, with proceeds going to Help For Heroes and the British Legion Poppy Appeal - 2 brilliant worthwhile causes. Here's the link- http://xfactor.itv.com/videos/video-detail/item_200389.htm
Cheryl Cole was still a replicant on the show. Maybe that's why she walked out..... Deckard barged in, hunting her down with a Laser Tube.
Thursday, 23 October 2008
OK. Here’s my problem. Michael Jackson night. What? I mean, WHAT? What’s it going to be next week? Gary Glitter night? Macc Lads night? X Factor does Roy Chubby Brown songs? Well, the contestants all gave it a good shot. But let’s be brutally honest here, even the best were the worst, and the worst just not good enough. Girl Band. We should just call them Crap Band and get it over with. And even the notables, like Eoaoghane and Laura couldn’t save the show. Eoaogooane’s baby face was too sickly sweet, made me feel like I was gargling sugar, whereas Laura sounded like a mincing cat in a mincer. The rest of the bands should have been banned after their predictably awful warbling, and as for the rough bird with five kids – well, just who keeps telling her she looks good in those suits? And with that hair? And that bad attitude? Now she’s like a peacock on mescaline, and you have to groan and acknowledge she won’t be going away. We have the Pontin’s reject, let’s call him Slick, who actually thinks he’s slick but in reality is just a manipulated monkey who’s going to fall and Fall Big and Cry A Lot, and then that guy with the gelled black hair like spider legs. Who can’t sing. And then you the Other Boy Bands. The Really Bad Ones. So, a mixed bag in all. Yes. A bag of X Factor rejects.
And now to the judges. OK, Walsh is quietly amusing, but if we’re honest, has little idea about what makes a good tune, and to my mind at least, is completely tone deaf (he did manage Boyzone, come on). Daniiii Minogue – what the **** is she doing on the show? Daniiiii, who only ever got her squidgy little mug on TV on the coat-tails of her much more famous/ better looking/ more glamorous/ infinitely more talented sister and is now judging other musicians without possessing any talent whatsoever. Pass me a needle and thread, my sides are splitting. Cheryl Cole. Hmm. The Queen of No Emotion. She says the right words, but it does not transfer to her face or eyes. She is a robot. A replicant. Certainly, a repellent. Either that, or she’s wearing that much makeup over her plastic surgery one cannot see the facial expressions beneath the trowel-applied mask (unless, of course, a pretty black dude waltzes on stage. Husband? What’s that then?).
Finally, we get to Simon Cowell. And herein lies the irony. The man I used to hate, well, now I reserve man-love for him. I would like to bear his children. Because, in a maelstrom of insanity, he is the only sane voice. He’s funny, truthful, compassionate, empathic, and knows his game. What I used to think of as acerbic hatred is actually spot-on observation. So, big round of applause for Simon. He deserves it. And, um, I suppose that’s why he’s a multi-millionaire.
And please please please don’t allow Girls Aloud (Girls Allowed?) sing on the show again. To have a supposedly professional band put in a singular warbling performance worse than all the amateur contestants put together was painful and cringe-worthy to watch (endure). Just bad. Bad bad bad. If it gets any worse, I won’t be tuning in any more. And that would be a shame, because I can’t wait for Cheryl Cole to sing I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am).
Monday, 20 October 2008
BIOHELL hits the United States of America in trade paperback, October 28th 2008, followed by a UK mass-market paperback on February 5th 2009.
Go out and buy it. You won't regret it!!
Some of the author's fave quotes:
"One step at a time, compadre. We’re not supermen! Well, at least, you’re not."
"Hey! I’m not just some uncouth, misogynistic, beer-drinking, heterosexual power-house, with no appreciation of the finer points of science, literature and art. Am I?"
"You’ve got it all wrong, Keenan, my friend. You have a twisted perspective. A deviated standpoint. This world. This life. This nightmare. I’m the only sane thing in it. It’s everybody else that’s mad. The pills just make your insanity bearable."
"Damn that vegetable spunk slime."
Friday, 17 October 2008
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
You can hear audio trailers on my website, at www.andyremic.com, and the serialised audio chapters themselves can be dowloaded from www.podiobooks.com.
War Machine audio podcasts to follow shortly.......
And all FREE! Yes, FREE!! What a jolly kind soul I am :-)
Thursday, 9 October 2008
Looking forward to seeing Ian Watson, he of Orgasmachine fame (in Japan, certainly). I've been reading Orgasmachine recently, and it is truly a superb work, visionary, and brim full of wonderful ideas (the skins in Jade's wardrobe is my current favourite). I will break with tradition (my tradition of not writing reviews, anyway) and post a full review when I've completed this (short) masterpiece. Wonderful!
Also wonderful, loathe though I am to admit it, is Mark Newton's The Reef. I was pleasantly surprised upon reading this tome (after all, I know the dude) and hereby, and with great regret, have to admit it's a fine book. Damn. I was looking forward to giving it a proper slagging. Actually, I might just lie and make up a really grotesque review in the future. :-) Newton deserves no less.
Friday, 3 October 2008
So, imagine my delight when these two dudes joined forces to blog about the horror scene! Wonderful! Point your mouse over to http://horrorreanimated.wordpress.com/ for some sweet-smelling fun and frolics from the horror scene......