Hogmanay...

Rem is heading for Scotland today, and more importantly, the Scottish mountains, the finest and most incredibly beautiful landscape in the UK.

Hopefully, will be taking in at least Ben Lomond and Ben Vorlich, with another thrown in for fun. And then it's Hogmanay!! Yay!! Kilt time!!

So if anybody around Loch Lomond wants a beer, drop me a line :-)

Total Garbage...

Total Garbage
A Review of The Garbage Man by Joseph D’Lacey.
Andy Remic, December 2008.

I’ve been reading The Garbage Man by Joseph D’Lacey over the last few weeks, and it’s cool to see a resurgence of horror with writers like D’Lacey and Bill Hussey taking centre stage. These guys have also got a cool horror website up and running - Horror Reanimated - which has recently become a must-need read for me. Check out http://www.horrorreanimated.com.

Anyway, onto the book. The Garbage Man is a subtly skewed twist on reality in which D’Lacey plumbs a much underused minefield of original ideas and esoteric plot strands. The Garbage Man builds slowly empowering the reader with empathy for a plethora of interesting characters and their sometimes petty lives – all except Mason Brand, who for me was the star of the show, an intricate character brilliantly portrayed, with hidden depths and a host of unpredictable surprises woven into his weird hippy-extremes. Despite delicate sensibilities, however, Brand shows a very dark shadow of his twisted soul, and without wanting to give too much away, his nurturing and misplaced love goes horribly wrong, all controlled in a masterful way by D’Lacey.

The Garbage Man is a testament to trash, a carnival of crap, a festival of faecal matter! and when the (literal) shit hits the fan, the novel explodes more violently than dynamite in a sewage plant. D’Lacey’s creatures are original, inventive and unique, and filled with a turgid shit-filled menace that makes one want to shit his (or her) panties. Rarely have I read such an original twist on the monster genre, and this book begs to have a sequel!!

The writing is tight, polished, and flows well for the reader. Descriptions are intelligent, environments well-realised, and the plot builds to a satisfying climax. Negatives? A bit of a slow start for me, but then I’m a self-confessed alcohol junkie with the attention span of a goldfish (on junk). This element will no doubt appeal to Steven King fans, as there is so much good characterisation which leads the reader by the hand, then breaks his arm with a grin.

The ending is full of surprises, and caught me out. Lurking in the end scenes is a brilliant spark of originality which I am shamelessly going to plagiarise at every opportunity. Overall, then, The Garbage Man is intelligently written, with good characters, a strong plot, and that oh-so-rare element of originality lacking in much of today’s contemporary fiction.

The Garbage Man by Joseph D’Lacey. Hey... it’s garbage, man. Total garbage!! In a good way. Highly recommended :-)

Apologies...

Apologies for my lack of recent updates, and also for my lack of recent podcast chapters. I did some teaching work in a high school in November, and contracted what I can only surmise to be ebola from some of the toxic deviant pupils therein. For several weeks I have been "coughing up a lung" in the words of Cypress Hill (although I do recognise their dubious meaning, heh) and lost my voice, my libido, and subsequently my will to live. Anyway, having gradually recovered in time for Christmas (a hundred cans of Stella, and he didn't think it too many) I am back in the game, back on the ball, and still full of shit. Will have some very good news to report soon, about a certain miffed off robot...

Cheers
Rem.

Infected...

Got a mentionon Scott Sigler's website this month, and Scott very kindly plugged my SPIRAL podcast in his recent episode (#36) of Infected - which I totally recommend!! Scott's site is at http://www.scottsigler.com/ for lots more info on his ass-kicking novels and podcasts.

Interview #2

OK, here's another new interview I did recently for Concept Sci-fi, a very well presented website. The addy is http://www.conceptscifi.com/iaremic.htm and I join the fine company of Charles Stross, Neal Asher and Richard Morgan, amongst others.

My other recent interview is at the cool MilScxifi.com, again a superbly presented website. Read it at http://www.milscifi.com/files/inter-AR-BH.htm.

I must say, there are some brilliant SF websites around these days. Very professional!! You guys have got it good.

Box o' Books

One of the best parts of writing a novel is when you finally get your sticky paws on the finished product. Here's a box of mass market paperbacks from Solaris, 10 each of War Machine and Biohell, both due out February 2009.

So, if you want a copy for review then drop Mark Newton at Solaris a line and he'll happily supply one. Both are chunky and very well produced, and I especially like the artwork on the spine. Can't wait to see them on the shelves!!

Play the Sax...

Just read a really cool interview with the Sax Man. Check out:

http://www.conceptscifi.com/isbullock.htm.

Sax has written a novel called The Hypernova Gambit and is currently represented by the John Jarrold Lit Agency. And... and he likes beards!! Just like me :-)

New Interview.

MilSciFi recently conducted an interview with Mr Remic, and it's just been posted over at-
http://www.milscifi.com/files/inter-AR-BH.htm

Just be warned, I'd had a few very strong cups of coffee when I drivelled some of the answers and they're, heh heh, interesting. I was bouncing like Butthead. And yes, my butthole will speak now.

WAR MACHINE PODCAST NOW LIVE!

Yep, this book is now in the process of being serialised as a podcast, and is available from www.podiobooks.com.

WAR MACHINE-

In a time of post-Singularity and FTL travel, Combat K are elite and murderous combat squads trained by the Quad-Gal Military specialising in interrogation, infiltration, assassination and detonation. Their gameplan is simple: to end The Helix War, which had raged across galaxies for a thousand years.

Ex-soldier Keenan, a stocky battered war veteran, addicted to Jataxa spirit yet still horribly efficient at his job, is working as a private investigator on a planet at the peaceful fringes of the Quad-Gal. Following the death of his family, Keenan is riddled with guilt and self-loathing, and carries a need for revenge which consumes him. When a prince from Jervai Province offers him a case on a dangerous colony world in exchange for clues that may lead to his family's murderer, Keenan is dragged from his self-pity. However, to have any chance of success he must gather together his old military unit, a group who swore they'd never work together again...

Through the tribal jungles of Ket, the mean chaotic streets of The City, the mission leads the squad to Teller's World, a Dead World, and home of the extinct God Leviathan... and there Keenan will find answers to his deepest nightmares... and face an ancient, evil terror older than The Four Galaxies.

Randy Toss.

Sorry, but am I the only person who thinks Brand and Ross should be horse-whipped, then spend 48 hours in the stocks? Obviously I’m not, judging by the amount of complaints the BBC had regarding the “comedy” heaped upon poor Andrew Sachs. I see today Brand has resigned his position from the BBC… but, is this enough? Now, I agree capital punishment is probably a little harsh in most cases (Gary Glitter and his ilk excepting), but surely in a case like this we could return to that most comedic of punishments, the stocks? Lock Randy Brand and Toss in wooden stocks for 48 hours, pelt them with rotten fruit and other amusing objects (a lump hammer, a chisel, a chainsaw, haha!!) and let them suffer a little of the humiliation heaped upon Sachs by their comments, broadcast, and subsequent explosion of media recognition.

Alternatively, I’m willing to come out of retirement and spend an hour in the ring with these two muppets. And I’m damn sure Ricky Hatton wouldn’t mind a round or three.

Sachs is such a lovely bloke, and I’ve just watched his response to the two hairy reprobates. And yes, he’s too nice to pursue matters further – that’s why they chose him. And yes, they sent him very nice letters – they were begging for their jobs.

What 78 year old grandfather deserves this sort of treatment?

And Russel! Mate! Get a haircut! And a shave. Haha.

Judge Dread.

Ha! For the first time in history I am to be a judge in a competition. For more details (and humorous photos of Andy Remic getting intimate with a Chieftain tank) head over to http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com/.

You could win a box full of Solaris books :-)

And Now For Something Completely Different.

OK. Three items here:

1] BIOHELL is out tomorrow, 28th October, in the US. Finally!! It feels like I wrote this book about three years ago... and yes, it's been a VERY long year.

2] WAR MACHINE podcasts go live on 31st October - fittingly, Halloween (the horror, the horror) and can be snaffled from http://www.podiobooks.com/.

3] XFACTOR was much better this week :-) I especially liked the charity song, with proceeds going to Help For Heroes and the British Legion Poppy Appeal - 2 brilliant worthwhile causes. Here's the link- http://xfactor.itv.com/videos/video-detail/item_200389.htm

Cheryl Cole was still a replicant on the show. Maybe that's why she walked out..... Deckard barged in, hunting her down with a Laser Tube.

XXX Factor.

It’s got to be said, I was enjoying X Factor until last Saturday’s travesty. A late convert, I was never what could be considered a fan, and hated, actually felt physical hate for Simon Cowell, with his smug face and plastic haircut. However, when my big burly mate JK got into it, I mused there had to be something in the chirpy chirpings of various cheepy cheap cheeps. And so, after my wife attached electrodes to my testicles, I was forced to endure XFAC. And you know what? I really enjoyed it. There you go. I’ve said it. Yes, I like machine guns. Yes, I like movies where people shoot other people in the face. And yes, I like chucking myself down motorbike verts. And now... I like the X Factor. JK was right... Until Saturday’s fiasco.

OK. Here’s my problem. Michael Jackson night. What? I mean, WHAT? What’s it going to be next week? Gary Glitter night? Macc Lads night? X Factor does Roy Chubby Brown songs? Well, the contestants all gave it a good shot. But let’s be brutally honest here, even the best were the worst, and the worst just not good enough. Girl Band. We should just call them Crap Band and get it over with. And even the notables, like Eoaoghane and Laura couldn’t save the show. Eoaogooane’s baby face was too sickly sweet, made me feel like I was gargling sugar, whereas Laura sounded like a mincing cat in a mincer. The rest of the bands should have been banned after their predictably awful warbling, and as for the rough bird with five kids – well, just who keeps telling her she looks good in those suits? And with that hair? And that bad attitude? Now she’s like a peacock on mescaline, and you have to groan and acknowledge she won’t be going away. We have the Pontin’s reject, let’s call him Slick, who actually thinks he’s slick but in reality is just a manipulated monkey who’s going to fall and Fall Big and Cry A Lot, and then that guy with the gelled black hair like spider legs. Who can’t sing. And then you the Other Boy Bands. The Really Bad Ones. So, a mixed bag in all. Yes. A bag of X Factor rejects.

And now to the judges. OK, Walsh is quietly amusing, but if we’re honest, has little idea about what makes a good tune, and to my mind at least, is completely tone deaf (he did manage Boyzone, come on). Daniiii Minogue – what the **** is she doing on the show? Daniiiii, who only ever got her squidgy little mug on TV on the coat-tails of her much more famous/ better looking/ more glamorous/ infinitely more talented sister and is now judging other musicians without possessing any talent whatsoever. Pass me a needle and thread, my sides are splitting. Cheryl Cole. Hmm. The Queen of No Emotion. She says the right words, but it does not transfer to her face or eyes. She is a robot. A replicant. Certainly, a repellent. Either that, or she’s wearing that much makeup over her plastic surgery one cannot see the facial expressions beneath the trowel-applied mask (unless, of course, a pretty black dude waltzes on stage. Husband? What’s that then?).

Finally, we get to Simon Cowell. And herein lies the irony. The man I used to hate, well, now I reserve man-love for him. I would like to bear his children. Because, in a maelstrom of insanity, he is the only sane voice. He’s funny, truthful, compassionate, empathic, and knows his game. What I used to think of as acerbic hatred is actually spot-on observation. So, big round of applause for Simon. He deserves it. And, um, I suppose that’s why he’s a multi-millionaire.
And please please please don’t allow Girls Aloud (Girls Allowed?) sing on the show again. To have a supposedly professional band put in a singular warbling performance worse than all the amateur contestants put together was painful and cringe-worthy to watch (endure). Just bad. Bad bad bad. If it gets any worse, I won’t be tuning in any more. And that would be a shame, because I can’t wait for Cheryl Cole to sing I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am).

BIOHELL Hits The Mean Streets...

BIOHELL hits the United States of America in trade paperback, October 28th 2008, followed by a UK mass-market paperback on February 5th 2009.

Go out and buy it. You won't regret it!!

Some of the author's fave quotes:

"One step at a time, compadre. We’re not supermen! Well, at least, you’re not."

Franco.

"Hey! I’m not just some uncouth, misogynistic, beer-drinking, heterosexual power-house, with no appreciation of the finer points of science, literature and art. Am I?"

Franco.

"You’ve got it all wrong, Keenan, my friend. You have a twisted perspective. A deviated standpoint. This world. This life. This nightmare. I’m the only sane thing in it. It’s everybody else that’s mad. The pills just make your insanity bearable."

Franco.

"Damn that vegetable spunk slime."

Franco.

ENJOY!!

Off To A Good Start...

Wow. Spiral seems to be doing OK on Podiobooks!

SPIRAL audio podcast...

... is now live.

You can hear audio trailers on my website, at www.andyremic.com, and the serialised audio chapters themselves can be dowloaded from www.podiobooks.com.

War Machine audio podcasts to follow shortly.......

And all FREE! Yes, FREE!! What a jolly kind soul I am :-)

Newcon 4

Yup, I'll be trogging down to Northampton this weekend for the promising "Newcon4" which is, entertainingly, being held in a fish market. Iain Banks, Ken Macleod, Storm Constantine- hell, it appears this weekend they will be stinking of cod, hoho.

Looking forward to seeing Ian Watson, he of Orgasmachine fame (in Japan, certainly). I've been reading Orgasmachine recently, and it is truly a superb work, visionary, and brim full of wonderful ideas (the skins in Jade's wardrobe is my current favourite). I will break with tradition (my tradition of not writing reviews, anyway) and post a full review when I've completed this (short) masterpiece. Wonderful!

Also wonderful, loathe though I am to admit it, is Mark Newton's The Reef. I was pleasantly surprised upon reading this tome (after all, I know the dude) and hereby, and with great regret, have to admit it's a fine book. Damn. I was looking forward to giving it a proper slagging. Actually, I might just lie and make up a really grotesque review in the future. :-) Newton deserves no less.

Horror Reanimated.

I've got to admit, I'm a real old school horror fan, a proper stalwart of the original James Herbert and Stephen King stuff (and even Guy N. Smith, shudder - who remembers the horror of The Slugs, and that exorcist ex-SAS dude, Sabat!!), which I read from the age of about 13. I found it distressing when horror popularity dipped a few years back (having written a couple of old unpublished horror novels myself), but I am totally thrilled it's making a revival. At the forefront of this new horrorific knife in the ribs are two guys who I admire, namely Bill Hussey and Joseph D'Lacey, authors of Through a Glass, Darkly, and MEAT respectively.

So, imagine my delight when these two dudes joined forces to blog about the horror scene! Wonderful! Point your mouse over to http://horrorreanimated.wordpress.com/ for some sweet-smelling fun and frolics from the horror scene......

PODCASTS!

I've been working for the last couple of weeks on the opening podcast episodes of SPIRAL (2003) and WAR MACHINE (2007). I thought it was about time I said a few thankyous because, what I thought would be a happy little jaunt of crooning into a mic turned into damn hard work and a steep learning curve. I'm a writer, a teacher, but not an audio engineer. Now I know the difference between 64kbps and 128kbps, between 44100 kHz and 48000 kHz, I know about lame encoders, about over-modulation and the wonder that is levelling software. Anyway, none of the podcasts would have happened without the following people, and I offer thanks:
1] Evo Terra, main guy at podiobooks.com - for his patience with an idiot author.
2] The podiobooks.com community - for consistently telling me my machine gun effects were too loud.
3] Mark Newton and the guys at Solaris - for permission to podcast War Machine.
4] Darren Nash (and legal people) at Orbit Books - for permission to podcast Spiral.

Thank you all!!

Popdcasts will be appearing soon on www.podiobooks.com, which will also be linked via my website.

BIOHELL... at last!!

An lo! so a package arrived from Mark Charan Newton at Solaris, and inside it did verily contain BIOHELL, the US trade paperback edition, and lo! ... it was good.

It's that time of the year, when you finally get to hold your freshly printed novel and it all suddenly starts to feel real. No more paper scripts and PDF files... here it is, the real book in print and in your hands and looking damn fine!! (if I say so myself).

New BIOHELL book blurb:

The City: an entire planet teeming with corruption, guns, sex, and designer drugs. Humans are upgraded by the injection of microscopic nanobots, courtesy of a new technology from the Nano-Tek corporation, but when this highly desirable technology heads onto the black market, millions of people inject themselves with pirated biomods - and transform into zombies. Now they roam the streets, out for blood, packing shotguns and bombs. The Combat K squad are dropped into this warzone to uncover what's turned the planet into a wasteland of murder and mutations, and soon their focus is on the darkness at the Nano-Tek corporation itself...

Can't wait to see it on the shelves :-)